Living in the world of "no homo"

As most of you know, Uganda became famous last year with its threat of a “kill the gays” bill, where being caught in a homosexual act could lead to life in prison. Although most of the aim of this bill was more towards pedophiles than adult gay men and women, it was still a major concern from a human rights perspective. So much so that many governments around the world, including ours in the US, told Uganda that if the bill passed they would lose all aid and funding; that was a big uh-oh for this country. So, the bill has been put on the backburner and is not really going anywhere. Since being here, I have discovered that this issue is mainly a religious one, and Uganda is one of the most religious governments I know of, that was started by missionaries that came here and was taken up by MPs in districts in order to gain public support. Some people here are very against homosexuality on moral grounds, but most people either don’t care or don’t know about it. I doubt the bill will ever pass since Uganda relies on foreign aid more than any other African country. Interestingly, despite being such a homophobic country, it is also the most homoerotic place I have ever been.
It is totally common to see two men or two women holding hands, way more common than a man and a woman. It is also common to see two men sitting in one another’s lap, massaging some part of the others body, and leaning on one another on a bench or seat. More than that it is custom for friends to talk about how much they love one another and express that physically with the aforementioned signs of friendship. And believe me that is all it is, friendship. I am not sure where the culture came from, maybe even from the extreme religious beliefs that say men and women can’t be physical unless married and in the bedroom. However, there are more weird things that happen here. It is perfectly normal for a man to walk around wearing a pink shirt, tight jeans with bedazzled jewels on it, nail polish, carrying a purse, and sometimes even ladies shoes. What!? In my world at home, this would be a gay man walking down the street. Here it is just fashion gone awry. So maybe the US has some catching up to do; boys would be humiliated and maybe beat in some parts of the country if they held each other’s hands even as friends. In fact although some of it can be really confusing for me…is this seemingly feminine man hitting on me or just trying to be my friend?...I think it is one of my favorite parts about Uganda. I mean relax guys, holding hands is a physical way to show friendship and trust and love, it doesn’t have to mean homosexuality. The pink bedazzled clothing, well I guess gender norms are a lot looser here. This bodes great for me seeing that nothing I do really could be considered gay and I am totally safe from being outted on accident. Now I just need to navigate a new set of rules for flirting and dating and friendship, because you all know me if someone tells me they love me my heart melts. I guess here it will just have to be a friendship melt.
On the bright side there is an underground gay community here, mostly in the capital and big cities. There are groups that support one another and even fight for rights and medical care. There are even nightclubs! Somehow everyone knows they are there, which is why I think being gay is not such a big deal for the public here (at least in the more liberal and open-minded capital) but more a political issue. Don’t worry, I know what you are thinking. I am being safe! I am just really excited to make some friends and see what life is like for that group of people in Uganda and maybe even get some dancing in where I feel comfortable. In a small sense, I am feeling what it is like to be a minority group somewhere. Yes I am white so a minority in an African country, but that is different because being white here has a very specific connotation of having money, thereby making the minority experience different (probably my least favorite part about Uganda). But being a part of a group that is so incredibly targeted and penalized is very interested. Back into the closet I went! However, I am strangely still allowed to wear tight jeans and walk with a strut without anyone thinking anything; I can even hold a boys hand in public and get away with it!