The Strength of Women

If there is one topic that I had certain ideas about before coming but have drastically changed since living in Uganda, it is on the strength of women. In America, it is easy for a man to be for women’s rights, but not take a hard stance on the issue. Women in America largely have a good amount of rights and privileges afforded to them. Although I am not trying to make little the very real need for life of women in America to continue to improve, I have heard female pcvs say that they feel lucky to have been born American. I also feel that same sense of luck, but I can only imagine what life would be like if I were born a woman in this country.

Although what I write cannot generalize for all women and all families in Uganda, it is so astoundingly true for the large majority of women that I am going to summarize what I have seen while here. In most homes and districts, women are second-class citizens. With the exception of some few very modern families and communities, which exist almost exclusively in the capital and major urban areas, the role of women is very clearly defined and very clearly beneath that of men. Women take care of the home and the children and men earn the money. However, in many cases men don’t even allow the women to see money or hold spending money, which is usually used on the children or home needs.  It is generally assumed that a good husband controls his wife and a good wife is submissive to his husband. This is believed by both men, and more vocally, by the women themselves. I have heard  surprisingly more women tell me how necessary it is for the wife to tend the kids, cook, clean, and produce as many offspring as she can. I recently helped to organize a gender-based violence workshop and was shocked at some of the information I heard. A higher percentage of women than men believe that wife beating is justified if the women has done something wrong. What!? Now I will say I have heard men speak out against these sorts of things and talk with respect for women. However, that does not mean they will go as far as to say the wife could work and make more money than he, or that he Is willing to take care of the home, or that dowry and bride price should stop (this is the payment with cows and goats for a wife by the groom’s family to the bride’s, which remains a cultural tradition), or that women are as strong as men. This is where I have really had a change in my own mindset on the issue.

I have never been a fan of gender norms, but I knew that living in a very traditional culture I would be in contact with them constantly and it would not be my place to change them. After all, gender roles exist for a reason and were useful when societies first began growing; someone does need to get food and someone else does need to prepare it and look after the kids. However, we no longer live in the Stone Age and with occupations now relying on mental abilities and not physical ones, those roles do not need to be assigned to genders, rather should be discussed in a family unit and assigned to individuals based on ability and preference. What really gets me is the still given excuse that women are physically weaker than men. Before coming to Uganda I had heard that argument and did not really try and go against it. Although I am not sure I believed it, it seemed like it could be true. Just look in any gym class and the majority of boys can outdo a majority of girls in physical activities. Then I came to Uganda, where this excuse is given way more than in the US. This time, when I look around at women in Uganda I see nothing but strength. Forget that they endure so much more hardship than their male counterparts, being that they have to suffer from rape, abuse, domineering husbands, and a society that treats them like property. They also do so much more physically. When I see people digging in the garden for hours, it is usually the women. When I see someone carrying a load (think really big) of firewood on their head for long distances or a 20 liter jerrycan filled with water for the home, it is usually a woman. I have even seen a lady carry an entire bedframe on her head with such grace and a smile on her face. Women carry their babies during all of this in sacks on their backs and they do it all day long. After gardening, the man will go in and sit and wait while the woman prepares a meal and then cleans after. Women are the ones giving birth to upwards of 10 children in their lifetime and can’t refuse even if she wanted to. So when I hear that a woman can’t build a pit latrine or earn money for the home because she isn’t as strong as a man, my blood now boils .Women in Uganda are some of the strongest people I have ever met and they take so much from their culture. Again, I am not trying to say things on a cultural level need to change, but it is about time that women receive the respect and recognition they deserve for being the outstanding individuals they are.