Decisions to stay

I recently went to my Close of Service conference, where my group of volunteers begin the process of wrapping up at site and going home. I could not believe that was already upon us and the whole event felt weird. We got a lot of great information and were able to spend quality time with people we have not seen in a long time. However, I could not help but feel that I was, and am, not ready for COS. Listening to all the advice on saying goodbye, closing projects, and reintegrating into the US really scared me. I am having such a great time in Uganda and know there is more work that I can do, I am not ready to up and leave! So I made the decision to extend my service for a few months and go home in April, rather than December.

Many things went into this decision and none of them really outweighs the other. If you are reading this than you probably know that I began my service with high hopes that were quickly dashed and I experience a good amount of doubt and anger over being here. Yes ladies and gentleman I can vouch for it, culture shock is (expletive here) hard. However, thanks to the support, love, advice, and push from many of my family and friends--here and at home--I stuck it out. Looking back I can't believe how ready I was to give up on myself and Uganda. But not a day goes by that I am not so glad that I didn't. I have really come around and learned so much about myself, humanity, and this part of the world. Uganda now feels like home. So, that transformation and complete reversal of feelings was part of the reason for staying, I wanted to give myself and Uganda back some of the time I wasted being miserable and wanting to leave.

Another factor is timing. I ideally will go back to teaching in the states, but those jobs do not begin till the school year starts in the fall. So what on Earth would I do with myself at home for 8 months? probably sit at home, getting stir crazy, on my family's nerves, and spending tons of money rather than making it. By staying till the spring, I get to avoid all that and make a few extra bucks in the process. Hopefully this will not get in the way of getting a job, I really do not think it will. I also am losing my chance to hike the App trail with my best friend, but I was not sure if it was going to happen anyway. This leads me to the third reason for staying--the work.

The assignment for my 4 month extension is so cool! I will be primarily doing three things: training our staff on better facilitation skills, creating a training model for all pcvs on youth work and empowerment, and building capacity for partnering organizations that want to run their own youth camps. These objectives are exactly the types of things I want to do with my life and I am going to gain so many professional skills by practicing with it and working under people who have been doing this work for their whole lives. This opportunity is so huge for me and I could not possibly pass it up. It is really going to put me in a place to get involved in some great work back the the US and go down the career path that will better facilitate this work. If I want to be a principal or work on policy one day, these skills and experience are really going to help me achieve that. In the least I will become a much better teacher. Oh yea and I did not mention, I will be based in Kampala the capital for all this work!

All in all a lot of thought went into my decision to stay and I know it is the right one. Of course I miss my family, friends, and life in the states, but 4 months is not much in the grand scheme of things or the length of my service as a whole. I am continuously grateful for the love and support everyone has given me in this decision and feel so blessed to be surrounded by such encouraging and understanding people. I don't know if I will ever be ready to say goodbye to Uganda, but at least I will be leaving after doing something really great. It is hard to look back on 2 years and try to evaluate what you have done--was it all you could, did you leave any mark, did you impact anyone--I at least can confidently say I have grown and learned a ton and really made a positive change in my life. I highly recommend joining the Peace Corps if anyone is thinking about it!!