Powerlessness

How can anyone expect a culture or system to change when there is so much powerlessness? My school is going through a really rough time right now, trying to start a library before I go and with regular daily activities. There is a huge amount of tension between most of the teachers and the Head Teacher (principal), which has lead to a decrease in instruction and overall morale. At first I was not sure what to think or whose side to be on, so I just stayed out of it and did not get involved. However as time went on, I began to notice that my Head Teacher was simply not doing what he should be doing as the leader of the school; in fact as a leader he is just terrible.

Looking back there has always been a disconnect between the two groups. Rather than observing teachers in class or actually guiding them through lesson planning and teaching methods, he would just berate them in staff meetings. Although he was very quick to call out teachers who consistently come late (which is a very valid problem), he himself often comes late to school. The infrastructure is in ruins: water tanks unused, no students eat lunch at school, half the students sit on concrete floors without desks, etc. The final straw seems to be that he has refused to pay the cook her balance for preparing meals for teachers so now no teachers are able to take food all day either, unless they walk and pay a good amount for it at the trading center. Rather than figuring out a way to deal with the problem, he has started avoiding teachers and will not hold a staff meeting. The school receives government funding twice a year to maintain the running of the school, but ask any teacher if they have seen any of that money and they will just look away.

I understand how corruption works in Uganda. Some money comes for a specific purpose and whoever is in charge skims a little off the top for his/her pocket. You can still do your job while doing that and don't have to completely alienate and belittle the people below you. I really empathize with my teachers and feel like they are being treated unjustly. I don't blame them for not wanting to go to class and teach, they don't eat all day and no one is validating or appreciating their hard work. So ultimately the students lose because they are not receiving their education. I asked the teachers if they could report what is going on to someone at the district level, but they came right out and said they are too cowardly to do that. I was taken aback, so I asked for an explanation. They informed me that if the Head Teacher found out he could have them transferred to another district, completely uprooting them from their homes and families. How is that possible? Because the whole education department is run poorly with corruption so the next person in charge is much more likely to side with the Head Teacher than with the teaching staff. In systems and situations like that, what can individuals do to better their lives?

I am confidant that my presence at school has had a somehow positive impact. The fence prevents stealing and defecation (yes I said it, people used to come and defecate in the school), workshops have given teachers some new teaching methods, and just simple conversation has opened their minds to life in America. However, after two years I really doubt whether international aid can really do much in societies with so many structural roadblocks--not just challenges but straight up blocks to development by itself. I do believe in the peace corps model, I really do. But perhaps we should only be in countries where the people, those in power and those not, want to improve their society and actively work towards development. Unfortunately the perspective and norm in Uganda is what can outsiders do for me, in fact it is their responsibility to do it. That is not the mindset of a nation or a people ready to develop; of course not everyone here is like that, but it is the majority. However, that is why most of my success has come from working with the youth. It is a gamble, but as a group they are very ready for a change and see the pitfalls that are present in their nation. I still have hope and know it is possible from all the positive experiences and beauty I have seen here. People genuinely care about one another and communities are strong, resources are in plenty, and there is an amazing resliency like nothing I have ever seen.

Government-issued friends

Everyone jokes here that we are all "government issued" friends because we met and are forced to get to know each other by consequence of all joining the US peace corps. It is more like you can chose your friends, but you can't chose your family--this is our pc Uganda family. Despite this notion, I have come to really know and love many of my fellow volunteers and can't imagine being able to do this 2 year crazy ride without them by my side. I have met some of the nicest, most caring, and hardest working people during my service and I feel very inspired by their work and their compassion. Some really dedicate themselves to taking care of us, other volunteers, and hold us together. Others live at site, endlessly working, being role models and exemplifying what it means to be a volunteer. Everyone brings something to the table and teaches the others a thing or two about life.

I don't want to go through and name all of my best friends here and why they are so. I just want to say how much I value friendship and the people I call my friends. Being here is quite an experience and sharing it with other people is a huge gift. They understand everything. Most people know me and know that I wear my emotions on my sleeve, well this has been an emotional roller coaster and I am so lucky to have friends by me that listened to all my emotional vomiting. Back when I wanted so badly to leave Uganda, my friends here (as well as at home, I can't forget all you have done for me during that time too) really took care of me and helped me put things in perspective based on their own experiences in Uganda. We all ranted and vented together, we cried together, we laughed uncontrollably together. We shared in success and failure. We had high hopes together and were demoralized together. At times when I needed to feel like I was at home, all I had to do was call or visit one of these fine people. When I was thinking critically of home, we all could take our experiences living away from the US to pinpoint why the US isn't perfect and what we could do about it. When I was thinking critically of Uganda, I had friends here to remind me that we have problems like this all over the world. I truly do believe that I have become a more thoughtful and considerate person while here and much of that comes from the character and values of the friends I have surrounded myself with. They loved me and took my love...which as many know is extremely important to my sanity.

I am very social and easily become friends with almost anyone. I like this trait about myself. But becoming friends with just anyone does not always add much to your life other than a circle of friends. So while I love getting to know people and connecting with as many different individuals as possible (I really do learn a lot from everyone I meet), it is the caliber of people I have spent much of my time with that have really helped shape my service. This work calls to a large variety of personalities, but the majority of them are dynamite human beings who I am so proud to call my friends and fellow volunteers.

Little vacation to ETHIOPIA!!

So I am going to not do some work right now and send you fun things
about my Ethiopia trip! First of all it was soooo much fun and so nice
to experience another culture and country in Africa, if only to see
the crazy similarities and differences between the two. Ethiopia is so
different from Uganda! There is a much more developed feel to it there
and you can tell that it is from a culture of we do it ourselves style
independence rather than a everyone else needs to come and help us do
things that you see in UG. There is a lot of pride and people really
work hard. And it pays off...roads are better, there is more access to
electricity and running water, and cities are booming. Of course there
is still poverty, people living in mud houses, poor nutrition and
health. There is still a huge amount of friendliness and hospitality
just like here. Also, it is was really cool to see such a combination
of traditional and modern cultures...women will walk around with
really modern jeans and jewelry on fancy cell phones, but also be
wearing the traditional cotton wrap around her shoulders and have her
hair done in the traditional style. I was also super surprised about
the lack of English...not from illiteracy but because it is not the
country's national language and people do not seem interested in
making it. Oh and the food is incredible! Soooo much good food, spiced
well (unlike bland UG food) for like 2 dollars. And then there is the
coffee. They are claimed to be the birthplace of coffee and they have
this really cool ritual around it that you can see being done
everywhere from deep in the rural village to a fancy hotel. Women
(always women....a lot of gender inequality there) will sit at a
charcoal stove with the coffee pot and double brew pretty strong
coffee from probably right around the corner. They also set out all
this specific type of long grass to signify the coffee is there. So
delicious and it was about 30 cents per cup.

The coolest part of the trip was traveling in the north...Aksum/Axum
to be specific. This is where the original Axumite Empire was. This
civilization is as old if not older than ancient Egypt and was trading
all over the world thousands of years ago. There was so much exchange
of ideas into Africa from this place, mainly with Egypt and Yemen.
Therefore that is why the language and culture is sooo similar to
Arabic and ancient Hebrew. This area is the site of the Queen of Sheba
and the supposed Balthazar...one of the three wise men to see Hey zues
(jesus haha). They also claim to have the original ark of the covenant
in one of their churches. It was such an experience to see all of
these places. Later when I was in Addis Ababa (a NY like city) I went
to the National museum and saw Lucy! The "missing link" in human
evolution who was found in northern Ethiopia where I climbed the
volcano. Oh yea that was also incredible. We walked 3 hours at night
to see this thing...because it is in the Danakil desert which can get
up to 55 degree C during the day. This is the only permanent lava lake
on earth and it was mesmerizing to just sit and watch lava boiling
away...the earth is so cool! We then camped out on the volcano
overnight and climbed down with wild camels the next morning. Man it
was such a wonderful adventure that I will never forget. And I only
saw like a third or less of the country. It is so beautiful there.
Like a super green Arizona or Nevada. Great Rift Valley is
incredible!!!!

Decisions to stay

I recently went to my Close of Service conference, where my group of volunteers begin the process of wrapping up at site and going home. I could not believe that was already upon us and the whole event felt weird. We got a lot of great information and were able to spend quality time with people we have not seen in a long time. However, I could not help but feel that I was, and am, not ready for COS. Listening to all the advice on saying goodbye, closing projects, and reintegrating into the US really scared me. I am having such a great time in Uganda and know there is more work that I can do, I am not ready to up and leave! So I made the decision to extend my service for a few months and go home in April, rather than December.

Many things went into this decision and none of them really outweighs the other. If you are reading this than you probably know that I began my service with high hopes that were quickly dashed and I experience a good amount of doubt and anger over being here. Yes ladies and gentleman I can vouch for it, culture shock is (expletive here) hard. However, thanks to the support, love, advice, and push from many of my family and friends--here and at home--I stuck it out. Looking back I can't believe how ready I was to give up on myself and Uganda. But not a day goes by that I am not so glad that I didn't. I have really come around and learned so much about myself, humanity, and this part of the world. Uganda now feels like home. So, that transformation and complete reversal of feelings was part of the reason for staying, I wanted to give myself and Uganda back some of the time I wasted being miserable and wanting to leave.

Another factor is timing. I ideally will go back to teaching in the states, but those jobs do not begin till the school year starts in the fall. So what on Earth would I do with myself at home for 8 months? probably sit at home, getting stir crazy, on my family's nerves, and spending tons of money rather than making it. By staying till the spring, I get to avoid all that and make a few extra bucks in the process. Hopefully this will not get in the way of getting a job, I really do not think it will. I also am losing my chance to hike the App trail with my best friend, but I was not sure if it was going to happen anyway. This leads me to the third reason for staying--the work.

The assignment for my 4 month extension is so cool! I will be primarily doing three things: training our staff on better facilitation skills, creating a training model for all pcvs on youth work and empowerment, and building capacity for partnering organizations that want to run their own youth camps. These objectives are exactly the types of things I want to do with my life and I am going to gain so many professional skills by practicing with it and working under people who have been doing this work for their whole lives. This opportunity is so huge for me and I could not possibly pass it up. It is really going to put me in a place to get involved in some great work back the the US and go down the career path that will better facilitate this work. If I want to be a principal or work on policy one day, these skills and experience are really going to help me achieve that. In the least I will become a much better teacher. Oh yea and I did not mention, I will be based in Kampala the capital for all this work!

All in all a lot of thought went into my decision to stay and I know it is the right one. Of course I miss my family, friends, and life in the states, but 4 months is not much in the grand scheme of things or the length of my service as a whole. I am continuously grateful for the love and support everyone has given me in this decision and feel so blessed to be surrounded by such encouraging and understanding people. I don't know if I will ever be ready to say goodbye to Uganda, but at least I will be leaving after doing something really great. It is hard to look back on 2 years and try to evaluate what you have done--was it all you could, did you leave any mark, did you impact anyone--I at least can confidently say I have grown and learned a ton and really made a positive change in my life. I highly recommend joining the Peace Corps if anyone is thinking about it!!

Camp LION...Roarrr

Totally forgot to post this a while back (obviously my life has gotten too busy--I love it). During the school holiday I co-directed a youth leadership camp with three other pcvs, some of my best friends in country. We called it Camp LION, Leaders in our nation, and it was designed to do some of the things we all felt were missing in many peace corps camps. If anyone remembers, one of my most successful and enjoyable moments early in my service was attending a leadership camp for boys (BUILD). Well I attended a couple of these and as much as I loved them, I did not feel like they really encouraged leadership. Coming off my empowerment conference, I was eager to introduce some of those elements into a camp, whereby the young people had a chance to gain actual hard skills in leadership, experiment with leadership values, and experience something transformative. Even though none of my friends had been to the conference, those were exactly the things they wanted to see in a camp as well.

We decided the first major change was going to have both girls and boys attend the camp and work in groups together. Rather than focus on what each sex can do to be leaders on their own, we wanted them to learn how to work together and see each other as peers and equals in leadership and change. previous camps where they were separate would come together for a day and work on gender equality. Well since we were working on that the entire week, we had a day free to fill in our schedule--incoming transformative experience! We thought about what a good leader should experience in order to be a positive change agent and we settled on having a Volunteer day where the youth went out in groups to do community service work. They went to orphanages, a hospital, and did street cleaning and tree planting. All together, they did a ton of very meaningful work and it was very obvious from that day's reflection that they did in fact feel transformed. Giving back to the community and feeling like you made a difference in another person's life does so much for a growing young adult who is looking for validation and meaning in their life. We were so proud of them.  Another major change was that rather than teaching lessons heavy in content on things like HIV, we led sessions that gave the youth skills in taking information back to their communities. How to talk in public, how to set goals, how to encourage their peers to use family planning, and how to counsel people with HIV; the goal being the campers felt capable of not only making behavior change in themselves, but in their communities. In the end they had to create an elevator pitch on a project they would do back in their school based on what they learned, and we saw some incredible ideas.

Camp LION was easily the most successful thing I have ever done. There was so much that I did not include here that led to an extremely positive week for everyone. All of us as co-directors worked wonderfully together and really kept camp tight. Ugandan co-workers were treated as equals and peers in the work, not just people to invite because we had to (something that unfortunately somehow happened in most previous camps.) We had counselors-in-training who were previous campers and now are very able and ready to become counselors in the next camp. We even had a proposal!!! (Shout out to Jim and Julia <3). I really got a lot of practice in empowerment models and learned a lot about planning an event like volunteer day. We all were able to remove our egos from camp and rely on one another to let the right things happen. If I did nothing else my service, I am so very proud of our camp. And we keep getting emails from campers about all the great work they are continuing to do in their communities after being at camp!

Partners for Youth Empowerment

A few months ago I had the incredible opportunity to attend a conference on youth empowerment. It was about how to use creative arts to engage youth, and be a better facilitator. It was the most meaningful and transformative conference I have ever gone to. 

The premise was that any valuable work done with youth should have an element of empowerment in it, which can enable those you are working with to tap into their talents and skills. One medium of doing this is through creative arts, but there are many other ways of creating an empowering environment. However, what really made this conference so meaningful was that the facilitators believed the only way one can empower youth (or anyone really) is to be empowered themselves and go through a transformative experience. Mission accomplished. We spent a full week going through a variety of experiences and activities which served two purposes: to teach us how to facilitate better and create a transformative learning program for youth, and to allow each of us to feel able and ready to be involved in this work. Some of the activities I was already familiar with from previous work with youth and teaching, but a lot of it was very new to me. Essentially the facilitators were walking us through series of increasing risk-taking activities that asked us to push ourselves outside comfort zones we have created. I most definitely did that the entire week and many of the days were extremely emotional. I grew so much in that week of work and really processed a ton of information about myself and human beings. I was able to face some demons, unlock skills and potential I was unaware of, and truly see and get to know other people and relate to their experiences. As a bonus, I also learned a ton about designing programs and facilitating activities with youth that can really empower them and build capacity. 

What really changed for me that week was I truly found my direction, my calling if you will, in my field of work. I have always known that education is my passion, but I also could not help but feel something was missing, there was somewhere else I should be going. I found it. Whether it is teaching, working in schools in another capacity, or designing programs/curriculum, my focus is going to be on empowerment. I truly believe in this model of education and the changes it can make in young people's lives. Our society is not an empowering one and we have lost so many of those facets, like community, which could have provided that support. The path is now clear in front of me and I know what I am going to spend the rest of my life doing. The feeling of being empowered, believing in yourself and feeling capable of whatever you want, is comparable only to being in love. I am still not sure the exact capacity I will work through, but no matter what it is an element of PYE will be there. Go check out their website if you are also interested in this sort of work! 

Evaluating Change

As it comes closer to my close of service, I have become increasingly reflective on how my time in Uganda has changed and transformed me. Of course this is a huge undertaking, in two years I have really undergone a lot of change. While thinking about it I began to notice that I have undergone both positive and negative changes that come from a variety of experiences I have had in Peace Corps. I suppose this is natural throughout life, but being that I am very cautious and tend to worry about how I think and act, I have begun to focus a bit more on the negative changes and their causes. However, I want to give attention to both.

Much of my time in Uganda has been spent waiting for something to happen. Things move very slowly here and people go by what they call “African time.” Whether I was going for a parent meeting at school, participating in a staff meeting, at a celebration or event listening to a speech, in a taxi trying to go somewhere, or at home expecting a visitor on a project I was working on, I waited. Sometimes for hours and hours. At first this was infuriating; why can’t people show up on time and why do people have to keep repeating each other and asking the same questions, and why can’t we just go with a decent amount of people in the taxi when we know we will pick more on the way, and for the love of god why don’t people come to see you when they say they will or at least don’t lie to me and say you are 10 minutes away when you have not left your house yet and you have a visitor? I still ask myself those questions, but I have also asked many Ugandans those questions and learned a good deal about culture and personalities here. In an American setting, this would not be acceptable. However, living in a Ugandan setting I have really learned patience, a surprising amount of understanding, and learned the importance of investigating why something is taking so long rather than just assuming people are lazy or not responsible. This has really helped me to interact with people in a much more polite and empathetic way, rather than demanding they do things the way I am used to. Now it may be that having a culture that does not value time is detrimental to development, but it is not in my power (nor should it be) to change an entire nation’s culture. In fact, this is the most positive transformation that I have undergone: never assuming or judging someone from a different culture for doing something strange or that makes me uncomfortable before taking the time to understand the reasons behind why they do it. It is about seeing people here as people, human beings, who reason and feel just like I do but who live in a different setting and were brought up with different circumstances and values. I can only hope that I will have this sort of patience and forgiveness with people when I go back to my own culture to live and work.

On the flip side, I have spent a good deal of time here alone. I live decently close to other volunteers and spent many of my weekends with other Americans, but much of my daily routine consisted of me living and being by myself. On the plus, I have become very independent and comfortable being alone. This was something I seriously struggled with before joining Peace Corps. I can entertain myself, I don’t need someone there to make me feel good, and I can get many of my wants and needs met. However, I am concerned that I have become a bit too used to being on my own, which has led me to be less of a good friend in groups. I find myself being sucked into my phone more often, being less tolerant of other peoples’ points of view or opinions, not compromising and doing what other people want to do when it is different from what I want to do, and sometimes even thinking that people are so different from me in their values and beliefs that I don’t really want or need to be around them. It is rather selfish and sends out huge warning signs because I know very well that people tend to get more set in their ways as they get older and I do not want to become close-minded or not enjoyable to be around. Yes I love my life and it is good to care about one’s self, but it is not acceptable to stop caring or being considerate of other people’s wants and needs--especially when those people are your friends. All my time alone has allowed me to get used to eating what I want when I want it, watching the TV or movie I want, going somewhere I want and leaving when I am ready, not having to share anything, getting to be on my phone for as long as I like, and spending so much time in my own head thinking the way I think where no one is questioning it or making me wonder if I am right or wrong…therefore I am always right, right? I am now beginning to understand what a detrimental thing solitude is. You begin to think you are really getting to know who you are, but then you slowly start to lose yourself instead.

Now I do think I am a good person and a good friend, with things to improve on and be conscious of like anyone else. However, it is really important to me that I do not lose track of my good qualities and neglect working on my poorer qualities. I definitely bring a lot to the table with friends, co-workers, family, and people I meet or interact with daily; I am extremely social, friendly, and relaxed in most situations and try my hardest to see the good in people and not the negative. But rather than taking those closest to me for granted, I do want to spend more attention on treating them with what they deserve.

Change is natural, our lives and personalities are fluid. But I do think it is our responsibility to be in charge of the way we interact with others. Going through such an experience with culture shock, discomfort, and having to self-manage so much I have grown a ton. But I have realized that negative change also takes place during transformative experiences and it often times is less obvious than the positive change, but deserves just as much recognition and awareness. 

Village Life

I think I may have finally come to terms with life in the village. Although I still standby the belief that this lifestyle is not for me, I do respect it and see its value. What continues to astonish me is how little it has changed in the last century. Whether that is because of peoples’ unwillingness or lack of desire for change or from a serious neglect on part of the government I will never know. More or less though, life in the bush is fairly predictable and stable, though without many commodities, and I think that has its certain appeals.

At first glance, it is easy to write off the rural community as underdeveloped and in need of a lot of aid. However, that ignores many of the inner-workings of these local societies. Mud huts with grass-thatched roofs are the norm, at least in my area. To an American, they look dismal. I could never imagine my mother or my sister living in a house that has actual dirt for walls alongside rats. However, these homes are extremely economical. They make use of the resources that are around, are extremely cheap to construct, and stay very cool in the equatorial heat while keeping you warm at night. Isn’t this the one with nature that hippies are always talking about? Now there is very often no electricity and that does inhibit a lot of growth for communities, including health and education deficits. But life is simple and people do not need a lot. Time is consumed by how long it takes to cook and clean everything, including the time it takes to walk to the local borehole and pump for water. Most of the food the family needs to eat or to sell for money is either right in the backyard or in a neighbor’s backyard whom they share with. Everyone in the community knows one another intimately, so it is like having an extremely large and close family who will all put together the little resources they have to send the kids to school or save someone’s life who is in the hospital. Everyone greets everyone else, because why not. It makes perfect sense to want to talk to people you know and catch up on what’s new in their life. When a family member dies, it is not uncommon for the entire village, hundreds of people, to come and support the family. With everyone contributing a small amount, it becomes easy for the family to feed everyone and get by for the weeks of grieving without working. Those same family members are all buried on the family land so it is easy to remember them and feel like they are close by. Local politics keeps things moving and make sure everyone does what they are supposed to. Instead of threatening people with jail, possible isolation from the entire network of support keeps crime low.

Life in the village is not all sunshine and candy. It is hard work and there is a severe lack of resources and opportunity. Most schools are poorly run, healthcare is virtually nonexistent, superstition prospers, education is extremely low, and people do not make enough money to save or grow as a family. So there are tradeoffs. But what I once saw as boring, simple, backwards, and poor, I now see a little differently and have respect for the people living there. The busyness and lack of friendliness in urban areas seems a little less desirable. Not to mention all the delicious, fresh food that is everywhere. I do feel lucky to live in a house that is safe, well-constructed, and has water and electricity. I am not quite ready to give up those comfortabilities for months at a time. But having to go weeks without either has taught me that I can survive without them, in fact millions do. And I really do appreciate my time spent just sitting with neighbors and eating lunch amongst family with food grown and prepared by their own hands. Running water is very clearly a luxury and I hope to remain aware of just how much drinking water is wasted in everyday life in America. All I can say is that if there was a nuclear disaster and we had to start over, these people would know exactly how to survive and people in America would turn barbaric.

The Strength of Women

If there is one topic that I had certain ideas about before coming but have drastically changed since living in Uganda, it is on the strength of women. In America, it is easy for a man to be for women’s rights, but not take a hard stance on the issue. Women in America largely have a good amount of rights and privileges afforded to them. Although I am not trying to make little the very real need for life of women in America to continue to improve, I have heard female pcvs say that they feel lucky to have been born American. I also feel that same sense of luck, but I can only imagine what life would be like if I were born a woman in this country.

Although what I write cannot generalize for all women and all families in Uganda, it is so astoundingly true for the large majority of women that I am going to summarize what I have seen while here. In most homes and districts, women are second-class citizens. With the exception of some few very modern families and communities, which exist almost exclusively in the capital and major urban areas, the role of women is very clearly defined and very clearly beneath that of men. Women take care of the home and the children and men earn the money. However, in many cases men don’t even allow the women to see money or hold spending money, which is usually used on the children or home needs.  It is generally assumed that a good husband controls his wife and a good wife is submissive to his husband. This is believed by both men, and more vocally, by the women themselves. I have heard  surprisingly more women tell me how necessary it is for the wife to tend the kids, cook, clean, and produce as many offspring as she can. I recently helped to organize a gender-based violence workshop and was shocked at some of the information I heard. A higher percentage of women than men believe that wife beating is justified if the women has done something wrong. What!? Now I will say I have heard men speak out against these sorts of things and talk with respect for women. However, that does not mean they will go as far as to say the wife could work and make more money than he, or that he Is willing to take care of the home, or that dowry and bride price should stop (this is the payment with cows and goats for a wife by the groom’s family to the bride’s, which remains a cultural tradition), or that women are as strong as men. This is where I have really had a change in my own mindset on the issue.

I have never been a fan of gender norms, but I knew that living in a very traditional culture I would be in contact with them constantly and it would not be my place to change them. After all, gender roles exist for a reason and were useful when societies first began growing; someone does need to get food and someone else does need to prepare it and look after the kids. However, we no longer live in the Stone Age and with occupations now relying on mental abilities and not physical ones, those roles do not need to be assigned to genders, rather should be discussed in a family unit and assigned to individuals based on ability and preference. What really gets me is the still given excuse that women are physically weaker than men. Before coming to Uganda I had heard that argument and did not really try and go against it. Although I am not sure I believed it, it seemed like it could be true. Just look in any gym class and the majority of boys can outdo a majority of girls in physical activities. Then I came to Uganda, where this excuse is given way more than in the US. This time, when I look around at women in Uganda I see nothing but strength. Forget that they endure so much more hardship than their male counterparts, being that they have to suffer from rape, abuse, domineering husbands, and a society that treats them like property. They also do so much more physically. When I see people digging in the garden for hours, it is usually the women. When I see someone carrying a load (think really big) of firewood on their head for long distances or a 20 liter jerrycan filled with water for the home, it is usually a woman. I have even seen a lady carry an entire bedframe on her head with such grace and a smile on her face. Women carry their babies during all of this in sacks on their backs and they do it all day long. After gardening, the man will go in and sit and wait while the woman prepares a meal and then cleans after. Women are the ones giving birth to upwards of 10 children in their lifetime and can’t refuse even if she wanted to. So when I hear that a woman can’t build a pit latrine or earn money for the home because she isn’t as strong as a man, my blood now boils .Women in Uganda are some of the strongest people I have ever met and they take so much from their culture. Again, I am not trying to say things on a cultural level need to change, but it is about time that women receive the respect and recognition they deserve for being the outstanding individuals they are.

Normalized

It is has been a really long time since I wrote anything, actually it has been since right before I went home for Christmas and there is a reason for that. I had such a wonderful time at home with my family and friends, drinking Dunkin Donuts, seeing the city, eating really good food, and playing in the snow. It was like a refresher, giving me everything my body and soul needed to take on another year in Uganda. It certainly helped that I had left UG with very positive thoughts and did not fear going back. Once I did get back I was quickly very busy with conferences and trainings and seeing my friends here. I was getting involved in quite many things and soon realized that year 2 is incredibly more productive than year 1. I knew it was going to fly by. What I did not expect was how normal life was going to feel after I came back. I had become used to my routines, used to the environment and the people, the ups were great and the downs were humorous afterwards. I was interacting with people as if I had known them for years. I finally felt comfortable being uncomfortable and living here felt like I was home.

That is the reason I have not written anything—I don’t know what to write about. I did not blog back in the States about everyday things and I did not feel the need to write about what was happening here because it felt to everyday. My life here became just that, living in Uganda. It was no longer a “peace corps experience.” Of course I am still having those incredible moments, but what has happened is they have become more a part of an incredible life rather than isolated events in an otherwise uneventful existence. When I hop onto a taxi to go to Mbale and causally make conversation with whoever is sitting near me, I do still get off and take a breath with the thought in mind—I live in Africa. I feel so blessed and fortunate and I am trying really hard not to take it for granted, because in 6 short months I won’t ever be living in Africa again (well, never say never I guess.)

Since coming back from home, I have had the chance to work closely with my PC office staff, whom I have grown to really love, on LGBT issues. I prepared and helped to facilitate a gender-based violence workshop for volunteers and their counterparts. I have traveled deep into the village to train a group of passionate people who want to start a trade school for girls who dropped out of school because of early pregnancy. I have attended and helped to carry out a regional HIV workshop with so many wonderful groups. I withstood the passing of an evil bill and the following support of it. I have traveled to new parts of this beautiful country, including climbing a mountain that rests on the border of Uganda, Rwanda, and DRC. I worked with student teachers to organize a school-wide Drop Everything And Read day. I have partied, relaxed, laughed, been bored, cried, and had hopes come crash down on me. All in all, my life here is great and when I look back on where I was emotionally one year ago I am so humbled by what this country has done to me, how I have grown, and so grateful to my incredibly intelligent and supportive friends who stuck by me and told me to keep going. In the next few months, I have even more big plans that I think are actually going to make an impact on my community and I am so excited for whatever happens. Even if things don’t work out the way you want them to, they work out the way they are supposed to. I love Uganda, even with all its many faults. I have reconciled with the fact that I am a visitor here, it is not my land. Everything that feels foreign to me should, I am the foreigner. Who am I to demand change or say that something is wrong, this is not the United States. But I can empathize with people and empower them to make the changes they think need to be made. There are many real problems here, most to do with corruption and abuse of power, but there is hope.